The Deadliest Decision
by SailorJuri5
Summary: News? What kind of news?" He seemed slightly interested now. "You have some weird disease? You're in love with a dwarf? I don't know. Spit it out." She steeled herself. "Amarant, I'm pregnant..."
1. Chapter 1

Yay! I'm back in the game! It has been too long without any writing. My imagination nearly a-sploded from lack of creative venting. I blame the school children! But now that I'm started, hopefully I'll stay with it for a little while. Freya-Amarant is one of my all time favorite couples but as it turns out, I see Amarant very different than a lot of other writers out there see him. I see him as more detatched and aloof than most people. But then again 'Detatched' and 'Aloof' very rarely describe good features of romantic characters. Well, anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Freya adjusted the front of her faded red leather tabard for the umpteenth time, silently repeating her mantra of 'He is not going to notice if I do not point it out.' She stood in the shadow of an archway at the edge of the courtyard of the Alexandria Castle, nervously watching the courtyard's only occupant, the blue-skinned mountain of solid muscle and bone, practice his katas. Slash-slash-step-sweep-duck, it was an extremely practiced Burmecian unarmed fighting kata he had modified only slightly to accommodate his use of tiger claws. Despite the man's massive size and bulky build, he was pulling off all the agile moves very precisely. The first time she had seen him do it, she nearly died of pride. It was so heartening seeing someone studying the combat styles of her people. Or studying her people at all. There were times that she was afraid her culture might disappear, possibly even in her lifetime.

But there were more pressing matters occupying her mind. So she took a deep breath and again adjusted her tabard. 'He will not notice if I do not point it out.' She silently repeated one last time before stepping out of the archway and approaching the martial arts practicing bounty hunter, stopping just out of his reach. "Amarant, I must speak with you." She said, standing up as strait as she could.

"This better be good, you're making me lose count." Amarant said, not missing a beat.

"Would I be interrupting you if it were not important?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Amarant said, continuing unphased.

Freya sighed, wondering weather or not he would notice if she simply blurted it out.

"Is this going to take very long? I want to get through four more of these before I quit." He asked as he side stepped slightly around her and started the kata again from the beginning without even taking a momentary breather.

"That depends on how you take my news."

"News?" He seemed slightly interested now but did not stop his rhythmic flailing. "What kind of news? That rat-boy boyfriend of your wander off again?"

"Fratley is thankfully no longer my concern." She said resolutely.

"You're not leaving again, are you?" He finally stopped to look at her.

She looked away. "I hope I will not have to."

He took the position to start again. "What? You've got some weird disease? You're in love with a dwarf? I don't know. Spit it out."

She steeled herself. "Amarant, I'm pregnant."

He stopped dead in his tracks, his arm frozen mid slash. For a moment, he seemed shell shocked, not sure what to make of it. She only folded her hands patiently, awaiting his response. After a moment, he slowly brought his arm down and turned to her. "Are you serious?" Was all he managed to say.

"I would not joke about something like this, not with you." She said with all seriousness. After a moment of receiving only his dumbfounded stare, she looked down at her tummy and continued. "That is unfortunately not all. I went to see a doctor today and he gave me some rather… unsettling news." She looked up at him again. "He told me that this child is… the wrong size for my body to be able to support with any ease. He said it is unlikely I will live through the pregnancy, and even if by the grace of God, I do manage to carry the child to term, I will not survive the delivery." She awkwardly fidgeted her furry hands together. It was the first time Amarant had ever seen this pillar of strength and bravery actually seem nervous. "So that brings us to a cross roads. Do I tread the dangerous waters and try to keep the child or-"

"You talk like there's some kind of decision to be made here," Amarant cut her off, "Get rid of it." He placed his giant hands on her shoulders, shaking her lightly. "I don't want to lose you."

She looked up at him, her emerald eyes burning underneath her worn Dragoon helm. "You may lose me either way." She said a little sadly. "You seen, I really want this baby. I feel this may be my last chance to be a mother, and even though the stakes are rather high, I feel that it is worth a shot."

"Hell, yeah, the stakes are high!" He shook her one more time before letting her to and taking a step back. "Your life is on the line here. Is some kid really worth that?!"

"It is a risk I am willing to make." She said, standing up as strait as she could and looking him directly in the eyes.

"Well, it's not a risk I'm willing to make!" He yelled, seemingly losing his cool. But he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. As he slowly let it out, he lowered his head, hiding his face behind his crop of flaming red dreadlocks. After a moment, he continued. "I've lost too many people in my life; I don't want you to be among them."

She stepped forward and gently placed her clawed hand on his cheek, carefully running her fingers through his scruffy facial hair. It was an unusually intimate gesture on her part, forcing him to look at her again. She had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen spread across her rodent face. "Do you trust me?"

"It's that think I don't trust." He said pointing at her stomach.

She sighed. "Maybe you just need a new perspective. Would you like a night to sleep on it?"

He paused for a moment. "Yeah, maybe that'll be good." Then he smiled and put his hand on her hip. She rolled her eyes; he knew she hated it when he did that. His hand was big enough that when the heel of his palm was on the front of her pelvic bone, his fingers reached all the way to the base of her tail. That was the only place on her body that was ticklish.

Without a word, she took as step back out of his reach. She only flashed him a momentary smile before turning and walking back into the castle, leaving him alone and bewildered in the courtyard.

'She doesn't look very pregnant.' He thought as he watched her go. 'Maybe she's just getting more creative with that armor.' His mind continued to wander as he slowly sat down on the cold ground. God damn, it gave him problems the first time he tried to take it off of her. They were both covered head to foot with the blood of the dragon they just killed, both of their first challenging enemy since they stood side by side with Zidane in the battle against the god of death.

Their strategy was fairly simple; she would attack from the front while he attacked from the sides. And while he was perforating the creature's wings, she would go for its throat. Too bad she misjudged her jump the first time and nearly landed in its gaping maw. She was clearly out of practice. What had she been doing for the last year? How could returning to Burmecia have mellowed her so much? As she came down from her jump for a second attack, anticipating her poor aim, Amarant swung up the dragon's neck and grabbed its horns, forcing its head back so she could slice cleanly through its exposed neck.

After it breathed its last, Freya jumped off its corpse and took a step back, seemingly happy with the monumental trophy lying in front of her. Amarant stood on its now motionless shoulder, just watching her. Once she finally noticed him standing there watching her, all the pleasure drained from her face and was replaced with the most perplexing expression he had ever seen. It was the oddest assortment of confusion, seemingly not at him or what they had just done, but more at herself or possibly the situation.

He wasn't entirely sure what was passing through his head as he leapt off the dragon's back and began to approach her, stopping about five feet away. They just stood there staring at each other for a good whole minute before the silence was broken by her spear clattering loudly to the ground. He wasn't sure if she dropped it or if he ripped it from her hands but less than a second later, he swept her up in his arms, covering her filthy, matted face with kisses.

Looking back, he couldn't say exactly what was driving him. Maybe it was the adrenaline of facing down such a worthy opponent after such a long time. Or maybe it was that she was making such quick work of the straps of his shirt. He managed to let go of her long enough to pull her tabard off over her head but was then met by the sheer wall of her armor. He growled, he did not want to try to solve this puzzle box, he just wanted what was inside it, to claim every inch of her as they had just claimed the life of the dragon behind them.

So as she cast aside his shirt and began work on his pants, he simply reached over her shoulders and ripped off the cross leather straps holding her shoulder guards to her hip guards and indeed holding the whole suit together. And without them, the series of metal plates that had once been her regal Burmecian armor slid harmlessly to the ground. But underneath, he realized, she somehow wore a whole different set of armor! It was a bizarre set of interlocking metal bands around her stomach with chain mail covering her hips and hanging half way down her thighs. It came up just barely under her modest breasts and clung to her shoulders by thin leather suspenders.

"My god!" Amarant yelled, exasperated. "You wear two sets of armor? Do you just not want anyone inside?!"

"Firstly, Mr. Wise guy, that is the entire idea. Secondly…" She paused, looking away. "I'm a lot skinnier than I would like."

Amarant gingerly released the straps, the armor tumbling to the ground around her feet, leaving her in only her white silk under armor outfit. She was a lot less than hardy than Amarant imagined, but her standing there covered in sweat and blood; she was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. "Skinny or not, Freya, you are beautiful to me." He said as he reached forward and flicked off her helmet.

Before her helmet even hit the ground, she leapt up into his muscular arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and covering his face and neck with kisses. She was right, she was really skinny, he felt like he could almost crack her in half if he grabbed her too tight. She would tell him later it was from spending most of her adult life eating nothing but military rations. But none of that mattered because only a few seconds later, with the last of their clothes discarded, he had her flat on her back. That first time he pushed himself into her, as she writhed beneath him, that was the most ecstatic moment of his life. Although she complained for the next two days that she was sore because he was just too big. He could only laugh at her, saying that was not something girls usually complained about.

And now she was pregnant, he realized, snapping back to reality. How long ago was that first time? It had to have been almost a year ago now. Yeah, it was mere weeks after Zidane had cone sweeping back into their lives after the lonely year everyone thought he was dead. Zidane had really been the glue that held the whole group together. And even though he almost immediately married Dagger and knocked her up, it was his influence that kept the wander lust, and thus the standard kind of lust, alive in both Amarant and his now bedmate. But their relationship had been tenuous at best, primarily because they needed to keep it secret from the very people who pushed them together. Maybe it was just their pride getting the best of them, but it somehow moved unspoken between them that no one, especially Zidane and company, was to know about their now romantic relationship.

And now she's pregnant, he silently repeated to himself again. On top of that, she was going to die because her slender Burmecian body couldn't carry his child. "God damn it." He muttered.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Freya walked gingerly across the grandiose entry hall of the Alexandrian palace. The size and grandeur of this place never ceased to amaze her. Burmecian architecture was far behind that of the rest of the world as size went but was far ahead in terms of artistry. Even when traveling to the farthest reaches of the world, there was never a doubt in her mind that her home country would always be leaps and bounds ahead where art and war were concerned.

She suddenly had to stop in her tracks as a wave of pain throbbed across her back. It was becoming difficult for her to wear her armor because of her ever swelling abdomen. And without her armor, it would be impossible to hide the fact she was pregnant. She stood up as strait as she could and rubbed her throbbing lumbar. "You are proving to be a lot more trouble than I am sure you are worth." She muttered to herself, gently running her hand across her stomach.

"Why you talk to yourself, Freya?" The hardy voice Freya knew could only belong to Quina piped up behind her.

Freya flinched, surprised at her sudden company.

"I no no mean scare you." Quina said, coming up beside her.

"Do not worry, Quina, I have simply been a bit on edge lately." Freya laughed nervously. Searching for a quick topic change, she looked down to see Quina carrying a basked full of dried frog's legs. "So what culinary wonder are you making today?"

"Oh, now recipe just come in from Burmecia. Me no no cook Burmecian before, me hope it turn out good."

"Burmecian cooking does not use a whole lot of frog's legs."

"Gourmand's teacher Quale say if you only copy recipe, you not really gourmand at all, only repeating other gourmand. So me take advice and add own spin." She grinned hopefully. "Would Freya like sample?"

Freya smiled. "I would love a sample." She said. Quina grinned and turned, dashing off into the kitchen. As Freya watched her go, a wave of guilt suddenly swept over her for not becoming closer to the constantly snacking Qu during the weeks they traveled together. Quina was so hart to communicate with though. Not just because of the language barrier but because she only ever thought about food. If one was inclined to talk with her, they had to put it in terms of food. Although those conversations were hilarious to listen to.

Freya slowly turned and walked toward the kitchen. As she stepped over the threshold, she was taken completely aback; Quina had made enough food to feed nearly the entire Alexandrian castle guard. And it was all Burmecian cuisine!

Quina let out a laugh at her Burmecian companion's agape mouth. "Me take it you approve?"

"Oh, yes, Quina, I approve wholeheartedly!" She said, diving into the massive banquet table with both hands. By the Gods, it had been a long time since she had eaten this well. Neither she nor her offspring would be going hungry tonight!

"So when you planning on telling me you with baby?" Quina asked absently, beginning to add the frog's legs to a boiling pot.

Freya stopped, nearly choking on her mouthful of food. "What-? What are you-?" She sputtered hopelessly. But after a moment, and after finishing her chewing, she figured it would be pointless to deny it. "… How could you tell?"

She half turned to the nervous Burmecian, continuing to fill her culinary creation with her favorite frog's legs. "Qu's have good noses."

"Wait, so you can smell that I am with child?" Freya asked, completely bewildered.

"Yeah!" She put down her basket and dashed over next to Freya. "Me can smell it all over you." She continued, sniffing her up and down. She then grinned up at her. "But me so happy for you! I hope you let me cook for it once it out of there."

"Quina, you are the only person I would trust with the honor." She said, patting Quina on the shoulder and accidentally getting gravy on her robe. But she didn't seem to notice as she went back to her work. "But for now, Quina, let's keep this between us." Freya continued, nervously twisting a now gravy stained napkin between her hands.

"Keep between us? Why?" Quina asked, turning to her again.

Freya looked away, still nervously fiddling with her napkin. "I man… not… end up keeping it. Not because of what you think! But because it is not the… healthiest pregnancy. It is a long story. Besides, it is not even my decision."

"Then who make decision?"

Freya huffed and looked at her again. If she could smell a baby inside her, she could no doubt smell Amarant all over her. But she really did not want to say it. "I gave the final decision to the father." She said resolutely.

Quina cocked her head to the side quizzically. "You think he make better decision than you?"

Freya did not say anything.

After a moment, Quina returned to her work. "Maybe you talk to Dagger instead, she better at this than me. But me hate see you upset, Freya, you too nice."

"Thank you, Quina, that is very kind." She slowly set her napkin down on the table. "And thank you for the sample, it is delicious." She said as she walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Freya stood in front of the intricately carved wooden door that led into the personal chambers of Queen Garnet til Alexandros the 17th and her consort Zidane Tribal. But try as she might, she just could not get the heart to knock. Quina was right that she should talk to Dagger about this; but on the other hand, the Queen had enough on her plate to also be worrying about Freya's problems. Besides, Amarant would likely not approve of her discussing their romantic lives. Although Dagger would certainly end up hearing about it eventually. As would all of their friends really.

"Is there something you need?" A voice behind her asked, surprising her enough to make her gasp.

She spun around to see one of Steiner's Knights of Pluto standing a few paces behind her. She had been so engrossed in her mental running around in circles; she had failed to notice the armored man coming up behind her. "Yeah, I came to see the Queen." She answered hastily.

"Well, she should be in there. Just knock and I'm sure she'll let you in."

She turned back to the door. "That seems to be the part I am having troubles with." She muttered.

But he none the less picked up on it and reached forward, gingerly knocking on the door for her.

"Who is it?" Came the gentle response from inside.

"Mistress Freya is here to see you." He answered for her.

"Ooooh, Freya is here? Send her in!"

"Thanks." Freya said sarcastically, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Garnet labored to stand up from her seat at the table in the middle of the room to greet her old friend as she entered. The room had not changed since the first time Freya set foot in here on their old adventuring days despite the addition of a new, messy, betailed resident. The only thing that seemed to have changed was the appearance of its current occupant. She wore a rather simple, yet stunningly embroidered, white maternity dress. Her face reflected the joy and compassion of a soon-to-be mother. Freya only hoped she could appear this beautiful when bloated to that size.

"Wow," Freya said approaching the Alexandrian Queen, "You seem about ready to pop."

"The doctor says any day now." Dagger grinned, taking both of Freya's hands affectionately.

"I am so happy for you." She said, taking the seat Dagger offered her. "Have you thought of any names?"

"Dagger slowly and awkwardly lowered herself down into her own chair, taking a moment to find a comfortable position for her tummy. "Why yes, in fact." She answered finally, "Amelia if it is a girl, Ruka if it is a boy."

Freya only smiled.

"So, you had something you wanted to talk to me about?"

She looked away. "Well, yes, sort of. But I know you have too much on your mind as it is for me to burden you with my problems."

"Oh, pish posh, Freya," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "You know you can always talk to me."

Freya sighed, why did Dagger have to be so damn nice? "Alright, I will tall you. But you must give me your word that this does not leave this room."

"On my honor." Dagger said, leaning in excitedly.

Freya looked around awkwardly. It was not that she did not want to tell her friend about her current state; it was that she did not want to incriminate herself, or worse, Amarant. She reached up and slowly took off her helmet, setting it down on the table. "I…" She began slowly, "…seem to be finding myself in a similar position to you."

"To me?" Dagger asked, clearly confused, "Oh, my god! Puck did not step down, did he?"

"No, no! It is nothing like that. Burmecia is fine, so far as I can tell. Honestly, I have not been back there in several weeks."

Dagger sighed in relief. "Well, that is good to hear. I feel so bad for them, all the damage my mother did. But I simply cannot send them any more reparations, our treasury is so empty."

"Your mother did a lot of damage to this world, sorry to say. You have big shoes to fill."

"I am trying my hardest."

"And succeeding in more ways than you can imagine."

"But if you are not talking about Burmecia, then what are you talking about?"

"Umm… I mean in the same… maternal position (?)" Freya said, scratching the back of her neck.

"Maternal position?" Dagger's eyes widened as it dawned on her. "Freya, are you pregnant?"

Smiled and awkwardly nodded.

"Oh, goodness gracious, Freya, congratulations!" She leaned forward, wrapping her friend in a warm hug. "How long have you known?"

"Only a couple weeks." Freya said, helping lower the summoner back into her seat.

"Well, that is still a couple weeks you have gone without telling me." She playfully slapped the Burmecian on the knee.

"No offence intended, Dagger, but I needed to keep it a secret as long as I could."

"Whatever for?"

Freya stood up and wandered over to the window. Dagger had a beautiful view, overlooking the royal gardens with the city in the distance. "You see, Dagger, my being pregnant is only about a quarter of the problem"

"What is the rest of the problem?"

She sighed. "Perhaps it would be easier to show you." She got to work on pulling the loosely fitting, faded red tabard over her head, realizing how silly she must look. The armor she wore was not designed for a woman, let alone an expecting woman, so all the plated around the midsection bulged awkwardly. "Now, keep in mind I am only a couple months along." She said, undoing the clips down the side to release her body from the armor's metal grip.

Dagger's mouth fell agape as the series of metal plates slid to the floor to reveal her friend standing there in a simple white silk outfit that hugged her rodent curves generously. Particularly, she realized the grand curve of her clearly pregnant belly. "Oh, my!" She exclaimed, "You are seriously only a couple months along? You could easily be half-way through the second trimester!" Freya folded her hands behind her back, stretching her unburdened muscles. Now seeing her without her armor, Dagger wondered how she ever managed to fit all that beautiful baby flesh inside it. The suddenly another thought hit her. "Freya, who is the father?"

Freya looked over at her but said nothing.

"May I wager a guess?"

She nodded.

"It is Amarant, isn't it?"

Freya's breathing quickened slightly but she willed her face still. Did everyone in this bloody town know?!

"I will believe you if you say I am wrong." She continued with a sweet smile, "But I see the way you two look at each other, especially when you think no one is watching."

She sighed. "Yes, it is Amarant. But that is just the problem. You know he is so much more massive than I. And as it turns out, my body cannot handle such a massive child." She turned back to the window. "The pregnancy will be riddled with problems, and as I was informed, even if both I and my child survive, I will die on delivery. But…" She paused, looking down at her belly, imagining the baby sleeping so soundly inside, so oblivious to all the problems of the world, all the problems, quite frankly, it was causing. "But I want this baby, more than I have ever wanted anything else in my life."

"Maternal instinct versus survival instinct?" Dagger wondered aloud.

"Maybe. I mean, I know the risks, I am not walking blindly into this, and I simply cannot bring myself to care."

"Why?"

"I feel that this may be my last chance to be a mother."

Dagger looked at her incredulously, obviously a look she learned from Zidane. "That's a load of BS and you know it."

"Perhaps a little. But I will say this, if this baby was any of the other men I have had relations with in my life, I would not be in this frame of mind right now. The moment I heard the risks, it would be out of me and I would move on with my life. But I cannot stand the thought of ending this child's life."

"Because it is Amarant's?"

She didn't say anything.

Dagger slowly stood up and joined Freya at the window. She placed her hand on the Burmecian mother's back. "There is no shame in saying you love him."

"I know, and I have no problem with it, I would shout it from the highest mountain top. But he does have a problem with it!" She huffed impatiently. "He has this horrible emotional wall around himself. I understand he has not had the easiest life, but I wish he would let me in!"

"You think he has had a hard life?" She asked, realizing she knew practically nothing about her red-headed comrade.

"Well, right after the first time we… umm…" She thought for a moment about the best way to put it that would spare Dagger the details she probably did not want to hear. Became romantic? Made love?

"Bumped uglies?" Dagger said helpfully.

Freya sighed. "Sure." She shook her head slightly, realizing how much of a bad influence Zidane was on her. "Well, anyway, we came up with some rules to hopefully make everything easier. I said we do not talk about Burmecia or its politics. He agreed, adding we do not discuss politics in general. And I do agree, we are both warriors, not politicians. Then I said we do not talk about Sir Fratley."

"Speaking of Fratley, what happened between you two?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, a dismissive gesture so foreign to Freya it almost make Dagger wince. "We lived together, trying to get back to what we had before he left. I thought we were both trying very hard. But then when I returned to Burmecia after coming here to see Tantalus perform, I found Fratley wanting to speak with me. He said he felt I was pursuing the wrong thing; that I was not truly in love with him, only with my memory of him. And that, try as he might, he could not find it in himself to love me, and that was not fair to either of us, especially to me." She put her hands on her lower back, massaging her own sore muscles. "Then a woman came knocking on the door, a moon priestess from Cleyra. He told me he had begun seeing her and that they were planning on getting married."

"I am sorry, Freya." She said, reaching out to touch her hand.

"It is ancient history." She snapped, shying away from her touch. "He is no longer my concern and that is the way I like it."

Dagger could see how clearly this woman's heart was broken, how bad she had been burned. Perhaps that was why she so rarely seemed to visit her beloved hometown. But perhaps it was none of her business. The subject was quickly forgotten as Freya reminded her of the issue at hand.

"Amarant's only condition was that I do not ask him about anything that occurred in his life before I met him."

"That seems rather odd." Dagger commented.

"Well, think about it, have you ever heard him say anything about himself or his life before he met Zidane?"

"No, but then again me and him have never talked much at all."

"I suppose." She once again looked out the window. "I figured if he ever wanted me to know something, he would just tell me. But the only bits of information I have ever gotten about him have been from Zidane." She sighed sadly. "He opens up more to his rival than he does to his own lover."

"Maybe there is something he is trying to spare you from. A vicious memory? Or a violent rival?"

"I can only hope so. More often than not, I just feel like he does not want me in his life." Before she could continue with that train of thought, they both caught sight of a distant red figure bouncing from roof to roof in the city, followed closely by a similar blue dot. Freya knew without a doubt it was Amarant and Zidane, and they were fighting. "Crap, this cannot be good."

"Crap, this cannot be good." Dagger repeated.

Freya looked over at Dagger to see that she was not even looking out the window. Instead she was looking at the ground around her feet where a large splotch of water had appeared. Freya's eyes widened as the situation dawned on her. "You are right, this cannot be good."


	4. Chapter 4

Zidane walked hastily through the bustling streets of Alexandria, his old, blue Tantalus outfit a stark contrast to the blasé fashions of the commoners. He was actually rather surprised the old thing still fit him. Palace life had not been kind to his waist line, he had realized, and although he was determined to lose some of that weight before the baby arrived, he had not had much luck. Damn, Quina's cooking had improved over the years and ensured the layer of pudge around his midsection. He had also allowed his hair to grow out, much to the queen's disappointment. But the fleshed out blonde pony tail that trailed gracefully behind him made him look far more distinguished, especially in the ceremonial 'Queen's Consort' armor Dagger made him wear. Not that he liked that armor very much. It didn't actually provide much protection, it was really only ceremonial, and the hole they had to cut in the posterior to accommodate his tail was a pain in the ass.

He quickly turned a corner then stopped to listen. Steiner was clanking along noisily behind him. And try as he might, he just couldn't ditch him. The problem was Steiner kept insisting that it was part of his duty to accompany the Queen's Consort whenever he left the safety of the palace, but it was obvious he just wanted to spend time with him. And Zidane wasn't going to go easy on him until he could admit it.

So he slinked close to the wall and ducked into the bar. He took a quick secondary glance out the door to check for his stalker before turning into the room to see the back of a very familiar head. "Amarant!" He said, taking a seat next to his old bounty hunter buddy, "Didn't expect to see you here."

Amarant didn't respond. He had his head supported on one arm, not that it was terribly much support, his chin was only about six inches off the counter. The man looked like a wreck, which might have been due to the three empty glasses in front of him. His face was the most unreadable yet pathetic mix of expressions Zidane had ever seen.

"Looks like someone's been dumped." Zidane said conversationally.

With surprising gusto, Amarant slammed both hands down on the counter, drawing the attention of everyone in the bar. "Shut the fuck up, Monkey-boy!" He yelled threateningly, "You know nothing about me and even less about Freya!"

"Whoa!" Zidane backed off defensively, "I didn't say a word about Freya!"

"Oh…" He paused confusedly before standing up, "And neither did I!" He turned and walked toward the door.

Zidane stood dumbfounded for a moment before shooting after him. "OK, now I need details!"

Amarant strode as confidently as he could out of the bar, not even breaking stride when he nearly shoved Steiner to the ground. But Steiner stumbled awkwardly out of the way before he could be stomped on by the red headed monk. "Amarant, you brigand!" He noisily shook his armored fist, "How could you simply disregard your friends like that? You should be ashamed!"

Amarant stopped dead and whipped around, pointing angrily at Steiner. "Back off, Rusty, this has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me if you are disturbing the peace." Steiner said as Zidane came dashing out into the street.

"Oh, come on, Amarant," Zidane said casually, "You know it's our business as your friends to horn in on your personal business. Now come on, give me details!"

In a motion Zidane could barely even see, Amarant shot forward, equipped his claws with an almost invisible motion, and swung at the young genome. Thankfully Steiner's eyes were sharper than his own and stopped Amarant's deadly fist weapon with the broad side of his sword. Steiner sidestepped and heaved Amarant backward.

"So this is what it'll take to get some details out of you? Works for me." Zidane said, drawing his daggers. "I haven't worked out in a long time."

Amarant glared at Zidane and relaxed into his familiar fighting stance. Steiner stepped back to begin removing civilians from the streets figuring there was no way he was going to be able to stop this fight. There was a kind of rage in Amarant's eyes he had never seen before, and quite frankly, it scared him. And he was fully prepared to do everything in his power to help his friend through whatever it was he was going through so he would never have to see that look again. Even if it meant beating the shit out of him. But most importantly, he had to make sure civilian injury stayed to a minimum or else Beatrix would never forgive him.

Zidane bolted forward, both his tail and his hair leaving dramatic trails behind him. But Amarant's superior speed had not failed him over the years and he hastily dodged aside. The retired thief actor planted his foot to stop and leapt after Amarant as he loosed a volley of shurikens. Zidane dodged one, blocked one with his dagger, and deflected the last one with the steel toe of his shoe while doing a back flip; an acrobatic maneuver he was surprised he still had in him.

"You waste energy that way." Amarant commented as he made an underhanded sweep at Zidane's midsection. Zidane twisted aside and slashed at Amarant's neck. He would have take his tonsils right out had Amarant not flexed his elbow and planted it right in the Genome's gut, sending him flying backwards. "You're out of practice, Monkey-boy." Amarant gloated, "I think you're enjoying castle life too much."

"Wouldn't you?" Zidane asked.

"I need to keep moving, just like we have been."

Zidane grinned. "We?" He sing-songed mockingly. "As in you and Freya?"

A strange look of shock passed across his face before it contorted in anger. He readied himself as if to take another swing at the infuriating monkey, but instead he sidestepped and brought his claws up to block an unexpected broadsword from behind. He must have really trained his senses over these last few years, Zidane realized as he hadn't even noticed Steiner coming up behind the man who was standing directly in front of him.

Amarant planted his heel into the back of Steiner's knee, forcing him to stumble forward awkwardly. He gracefully stepped aside then shoved the armored man directly at Zidane. Zidane caught Steiner and helped him regain his balance. But as soon as he was stable on his feet again, he realized that their opponent was no where to be seen. "God damn it, Rusty, he's getting away!" He exclaimed, running up and grabbing the edge of the nearest roof, hoisting himself up with a bit of effort. The moment his boots touched the slate room tiles, he was forced to leap aside to avoid the handful of throwing knives that lodged themselves into the room right where his hands were a moment ago. "Damn, I was somehow hoping you didn't carry as many of those anymore." He joked.

"No such luck." Amarant said, throwing another handful of deadly projectiles.

"Son of a bitch." Steiner muttered to himself as he ran along the ground after the two combatants on the roof. "They only took this to the roof to avoid me." But more than cursing his quarreling comrades, he was regretting his own selection of combat attire. These two functioned just as well as he did in battle and they needed to wear little more than regular clothing. Jerks.

He followed their motions into the alley and nearly stumbled down the stairs to Ms. Ruby's theatre. Even less than he wanted to face down a rabid Amarant did he want to face down that mouthy woman. So he looked around the alley for a ladder or stack of boxes or something but found less than nothing here to facilitate a rise to the roofs. So instead he resheathed his sword and grabbed the cover to a nearby wooden rain barrel. Now he knew he wasn't the most talented marksman, but maybe he could create enough distraction to give the Queen's Consort the upper hand.

So he cracked his neck and loosed the wooden disk toward the fighting men on the roof.

Of course, Amarant saw it coming a mile away and pulled out an oversized shuriken to deflect the flying disk. But just as metal met wood, Zidane sprang forward and struck Amarant right in the back of the head with the butt end of his dagger. All time seemed to freeze for a moment, shock and pain flashed across Amarant's face before his eyes rolled back in his head and he went down, bashing his head right on the edge of the roof before falling unceremoniously to the ground and rolled down the stairs to the theatre where he laid in a bloody and unmoving heap.

* * *

This is probably my weakest chapter so far and for that I apoligize. I am no good at writing fight scenes and this one in particular seemed rather tedious. But thankfully I just came back from Anime Detour (I believe the biggest Anime convention in Minnesota) where I attended a fanfiction panel where I had my imagination resparked. Hopefully it will carry over to the next few chapters because now we get to the meaty bits of the story...


	5. Chapter 5

Zidane jumped down from the roof and stood wide eyed next to Steiner s they stared down the stairs at the motionless body of their friend. They stood there in silence for a moment waiting for a sound or a motion or anything to show he was alive. "Oh, god, I hope we didn't kill him!"

"We!?" Steiner bellowed, "There's no we, you killed him!"

"I didn't think he'd go down that easily!"

Suddenly Amarant moaned softly and weakly tried to sit up.

"No, look, he is still twitching, he is not dead." Steiner said.

As Amarant tried to sit up, his hands slipped and he fell back again. After failing, rather than trying to rise again, he slowly tolled onto his side, drawing his knees up to his chest. Then he did something neither Zidane nor Steiner could ever imagine, he started crying.

Zidane grabbed Steiner's shoulder, giving him a good shake. "Give me a Hi-potion!" He demanded.

Steiner sputtered and reached into a pocket of his armor, handing over the glass vial.

Zidane grabbed the offered bottle and dashed down the stairs, smashing the neck open against the wall and puring the oily, sparkling liquid all over his red-headed buddy. As the potion healed his body, his whispering became more coherent. He just kept softly repeating: "I don't want to lose her..."

"Come on, Amarant, pick yourself up." Zidane said, throwing all his weight behind himself to be able to push Amarant until he was sitting up. Once he was content Amarant was leaning against the wall so he wouldn't face plant, he took a seat on the bottom step. "You know, I was joking about the whole Freya thing."

"Well, I'm not," Amarant said, his voice evening out as he wiped his eyes on his bracer. "She's going to die."

"What are you talking about? She's, like, the picture of health."

"She's pregnant."

Zidane just looked at him confusedly for a moment. "You know, last I checked, women were kinda built to have babies."

Amarant leaned his head back against the wall. "Good god, don't make me say it."

"Say what? What are you talking about?"

He reached across the short gap of the stair way and punched the door to the theatre, the splintering wood bloodying his unarmed knuckles. "It's my kid!"

With that announcement, Steiner came clattering noisily down the stairs. "What? You and Freya have been seeing each other long enough to conceive a child without making either Zidane or myself aware? How could you keep such a thing from us?"

Amarant just glared up at him.

"Oh second thought, do not answer that."

Zidane rolled his eyes. "Rusty, you need to learn to think before you talk." He shook his head and returned his eyes to Amarant. "...How could you keep something like that from us?"

Amarant covered his face with his hand, looking like he wanted to just shrink back into the concrete wall behind him.

"But that's beside the point." He continued, "Are you sure she's going to die? That sounds pretty extreme?"

"That's what she told me. And she's never done anything to make me not believe what she tells me."

"I know, that whole Dragoon code of honor thing." He stopped and thought for a second. "Well... Is it too late to-... You know... End the pregnancy?"

"You do not want to do that." Steiner chimed in. "Not if you do not have to." He slowly continued, stepping past Zidane and taking a seat on the ground opposite him.

"What are you talking about?" Zidane asked.

"Losing children is very traumatic to mothers. Well, to both parents really."

"You sound like you know."

He slowly lifted up the edge of his helmet to scratch the top of his head. Never had Zidane seen this man so somber. "Yes, I do know." He said after a moment. "Beatrix recently lost a baby."

"Sorry to hear that, buddy." Zidane said, placing a comforting hand on his knee. "That explains why she's been acting so weird lately. But I didn't know you guys were at the family planning stage yet."

"We are not. Or we were not. The pregnancy was unintentional. We were not even certain if we were going to keep it. Although that decision seemed to be made for us." He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before turning to Amarant. "She said she felt that she was not strong enough. And her doubts of her own strength made he begin to doubt all her abilities. I suppose you have not been around recently but she nearly retired her position as the Queen's bodyguard." He paused for a moment trying to read Amarant's face. Despite the fact that tears still streaked down his blue tinged cheeks, he still somehow looked so apathetic. Why did this man have to be so blank and unreadable? "I am sure the circumstances between Freya and yourself are very different than those between Beatrix and myself but if you tell her she must terminate, it will be just as damaging to her spirit as if she lost it naturally. If not more so."

"Great, so either she dies or she becomes a basket case." Amarant said, "Thanks for the pep talk, guys."

"I would hardly say basket case. But she is very disheartened right now. Disheartened in such a way that I believe the only way she will ever truly get over it is if she has a baby. And, by the way you describe it, that does not seem an option for you. I know we may not exactly be friends, but I do only mean the best for both you and Freya."

"What are you talking about? You two are the closest things I've ever had to friends."

"I think that's the nicest thing I've ever heard you say." Zidane said.

"Yeah, don't get used to it." He said standing up and stretching out his mondo arms.

"Me find you!" A loud, cheerful voice chimed from the top of the stairs. Everyone looked up to see Quina standing grinning down at them. "You good at hiding."

"Hey, Quina, how's it going?" Zidane asked casually, getting to his feet.

"Dagger want me to find you. Tell you something about water balloons."

"Water balloons?" He said confusedly. "I think you might be losing it, Quina."

"No, she say she need your help 'cause her water balloons broken."

"Wait, water ba-... Do you mean her water broke?"

"Yeah, that right!"

"Oh, god, I have to go!" And he took off like a shot. Amarant had never seen him move so fast. Which made it that much more awkward when Steiner took to his feet and tried to follow.

Quina didn't move, only stood there smiling down at Amarant. He felt he had nothing to say to her so he just stared back. "Me so happy!" She said after a good whole minute, "So many babies!"

He sighed. "I can't deal with this right now." He said, ascending the stairs and brushing past Quina as he wandered off.

"You not excited? Me excited! Freya say I cook for it." She said proudly, trotting along next to him, "Worry not, Amarant, me take good care of your kids!"

Amarant rubbed his forehead. Goddamn it!


	6. Chapter 6

"Amarant," Zidane said as Amarant approached the soon-to-be father in the hall way of the Alexandria Palace. "Didn't expect to see you back so soon."

Amarant just rolled his eyes. Zidane was crouching down on the ground with his knees pulled together like he had to go to the bathroom. He knew it was just sympathy pains but that didn't change the fact he looked ridiculous. Steiner paced noisily around behind him looking equally as distraught. Amarant really didn't want to deal with these two right now. All he wanted was to take Freya and get the hell out of here.

With that thought, Freya came dashing out of the Queen's chamber and stopped dead upon seeing Amarant. Everyone's eyes drifted down to the big thing usually hidden behind her conspicuously absent armor, her very pregnant belly. "Ummmm..." She mumbled, trying really hard not to look any of the men gathered in the hall way. "We need more towels." And she ran off, her stride almost completely unaffected by the extra weight of her baby.

They all stood frozen, watching her go. After she was gone, Zidane and Steiner both looked at Amarant for a reaction. All he did was wordlessly come up crouch down on the ground next to Zidane.

"What the hell?" Zidane said after a moment, "She looks awfully pregnant for you to have never known about it."

"I've been working out of Dueguerro for the last month." Amarant said.

"I thought you guys were, like-"

"We're not joined at the hip." He interrupted, standing up and beginning to pace slowly in front of them.

"But a whole month?"

"Yeah, and sometimes longer. I'd say we only spend eight or nine months out of the year together. We do have our own lives."

"Yeah, but-"

He was interrupted bu a piercing scream coming from inside the chamber. "Somebody help me!" Dagger wailed.

"Oh, god, I can't go in there." Zidane whined, rubbing his knees together. "I can't stand seeing her in so much pain. One of you go."

Steiner looked at Amarant who rolled his eyes. "You are such a baby. I can't wait to see what happens when it comes to diaper changing." With that he turned and walked into the room.

The Queen laid on her bed, clutching her blankets tightly, obviously in the middle of a horrendous contraction. "All I need is a hand to hold." She said, sweat and tears running down her face. He dashed unquestioningly to her side and offered his hand. With strength he was surprised she possessed, she squeezed his hand until the contraction passed. "Sorry to drag you in here," She said, somehow regaining her regal composure despite her current position. "We ran out of towels."

"No explanation necessary." He said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" She grabbed his hand. "Will you please stay until Freya comes back."

He paused for a moment, simply taken aback by the situation. Why was she, the queen of one of the most powerful nations in the world, asking him to stay with her during labor? And the better question, why wasn't the father here instead? But he couldn't resist her big dark eyes so he took a seat on the stool next to her bed. He realized immediately that she had likely brought this seat in here specifically for Zidane too.

"The doctor had been really slow in getting here, I am getting rather concerned now. Freya asked why I do not simply cast a healing spell upon myself but I do not want to set something improperly and make this whole process harder." She let out a nervous laugh.

Amarant only hoped she would figure out soon that he really didn't care about her ramblings. But he decided to be polite and keep his mouth shut, only nodding apathetically.

"I am truly sorry if I am talking your ear off but Freya said, and has proven to be correct, that if I just say whatever I am thinking, then this process will seem to go by faster. And I am so glad Freya is here, this would be so difficult without her. You know, she informed me about your situation."

That piqued his interest and he looked over at her.

"Normally congratulations would be in order but, as I understand, the situation is rather... prickly."

"To say the least." Amarant muttered.

"Well, I am sure it is not something the two of you cannot handle if you face it together."

"You think I'm going to ditch her? Now that I've knocked her up?"

She let out a good natured laugh. "Lovely terminology." She said straightening the blanket across her lap. "Well, I am delight to hear it. I do wish you two the best, you know that right?"

"You're the second person to tell me that today."

"That is good! That means you have a lot of people who care about you."

Suddenly the door swung open and in stepped Freya carrying a pile of towels easily bigger that herself. "It seems odd that in a castle this beg there are so few towels." She commented as she set the mountain of fluffy fabric down on the table. It was clearly then that she even noticed Amarant in the room. Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here? This in no place for you. Now out, out, out!" She shooed him away from his seat.

But before he left, Dagger grabbed his hand, the seriousness in her dark eyes penetrating him right into his soul. "Let her in or you are going to lose her." She whispered.

Amarant only had a moment to be confused before Freya lost her patience and resorted to shoving him toward the door. "This is no place for you." She repeated, ushering him to the door. "We will talk later, I promise."

"Can't wait." He said as she slammed the door behind him, suddenly finding himself hopeful that he hadn't come across sarcastically.

* * *

Hey, two fairly consecutive updates, that's a new one. But I'm not going to try to defend either of these chapters, they're not up to my usually high standards. I caught Amarant so out of character in the last one and this one in general seems so forced. But then again I did only put this one in for one line. Although I came to a rather interesting realization during the writing of this chapter that somehow managed to slip undected by my creative process: if Amarant and Freya are physically romantic, how could she get this far along without him realizing it? I am so slow sometimes! But then again, I'm sure a lot of writers run into hiccups like that sometimes. And I recovered OK, right?

Well, anyway. Then next update might be a little way off. There is another project that I want to work on so I might be forced to put this one down for a while. But once I get back to the Deadliest Decision, I promise the next chapter will be the longest yet.

So until next time...


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh, good, I was hoping to find you here." Freya said as she stepped into the guest quarters Dagger and Zidane allowed her to use during her visits. Although hardly large enough to accomidate one person, there was already one occupent in the room. Amarant sat reclined in the chair with his back to her and his feet up on the window sill. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine." She continued even though he registered no resonse. "And it is a boy, if you care." She said, taking off her helmet and running her fingers through her silver hair. "Ten fingers, ten toes, one horn and one tail."

He turned his head slightly towards her.

"Dagger says they will probably have at least one of those removed."

"Hope so, that would be one bizarre looking kid." Amarant commented.

"Bizarre looking aside, it is more about politics." She said, coming around and casually sitting on his lap. "Although Zidane and the Queen are officially married, he is not of noble blood thus he himself will never see the throne. And because he is only the queen's consort and not the king, whatever children he has will never officially be his if he ever wants them to see the throne. Understand?"

Amarant paused for a moment. "...Fucking politics."

Freya smiled. "My sentiment exactly."

"Could have been worse though, kid could have been born with tusks."

"Now, Amarant," she scolded, "Who do you know that was born with tusks?"

"Well, Marcus for one."

"Marcus?" She seemed confused. "Oh, you mean that fellow from Tantalus. He does have tusks, doesn't he? But what could have possibly caused that?" She wondered aloud.

"He has some orc in him." Amarant answered without missing a beat. "He's probably a half-orc. Maybe quarter, but their tusks don't usually break out of the mouth like his do."

"Amarant Coral, how do you know so much about orcs?"

"Ummm..." He muttered as if trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. "Field research (?)"

She smiled, "You mean you have killed a lot of them?"

"Actually, I used to work with one. He and I never really got along though."

"Who could ever imagine, you not getting along with someone?" She asked playfully, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was so easy for her to relax and be playful with him when there were no prying eyes around. Although she could tell that the tighter her arms got the more tense he became.

"He had five kids to five different mothers. And he never took care of any of them. Whenever we got paid, Serra would fudge the numbers so she could send them some money."

"Who is Serra?" Amarant stood, setting Freya on her feet then walking over to lean on the edge of the open window. "I'm sorry, I know we had a deal, you do not have to answer that."

"Look," He began puropsefullly, "I haven't kept everything from you because I get some kind of deranged pleasure from it. Whenever you kook at me sadly and se we had a deal, it kills me."

"Amarant," She tried to stop him.

"Whenever I let anyone in, something bad happens," He continued, crossing his arms, seemingly more a gesture of self comfort than anything, "I just didn't want to lose you."

"What do you mean something bad?"

"I've never had somebody who hasn't ended up dying on me. I mean Serra, Alaria, my mother, Zidane, and now you."

"But Zidane came back." She protested.

"You're missing my point."

"No, I am not. I do not know any of those other people or the circumstances under which they died, but please understand, I see the path I walk and walk it willingly." She gently took his hand, forcing him to look at her. "Although you are responsible for this child, even if I die, it will not your fault."

He sighed and looked away. "Yeah, well, I still don't like it."

She smiled. "Not quite what I was looking for but I'll take it."

"And it's about the best you're going to get."

She took a step back, that big smile still spread across her rodent face. It felt so nice to finally make some progress on this man she had grown so fond of. Although there was one more step she hoped to make, she realized as she somewhat awkwardly took a seat in Amarant's chair. "I do still have a question. What made you think of tusks on a child?"

He looked down at her and she just looked intently back at him. Damn, the tiniest of openings and she picked up on it. He shtugged. "Well, I suppose you're going to die anyway so not much point in hiding anymore." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, his standard comfortable stance. "I was born with tusks."

* * *

I'm not dead, I promise! I just broke my cardinal rule of writing and didn't have the next chapter written when I updated last. And hopefully, looking at the length of the next chapter, all will be forgiven. This chapter was originally going to be part of the next one but I decided that perhaps after almost a year, an interlude chapter would be forgiven. And I do promise the next chapter is much longer than previous chapters and hopefully of the quality that will forgive such a long development time. Update coming within the next handful of weeks, I promise!


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Lord! I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the recent lag in updates. It does kind of drone and drone but I was rather disappointed that there was no back story for Amarant and very little for Freya in the game. So I filled in a few blanks and... well... gushed like a fan girl. It was kinda bizarre though, I imagined most of this story as it would have been happening but that had to write is as Amarant looking back on it. But I'm always willing to take on new writing challenges. So enjoy! And hopefully the next chapter won't be far behind...

* * *

Freya started, that was certainly not the answer she was expecting. "Truly? I never would have guessed."

"They were removed when I was a kid. I have scars on my gums but it's not the kind of thing I go broadcasting."

"Who would have imagined? You being part orc-"

"Not orc," He cut her off, "Troll."

"Troll?" She slowly scanned him up and down. "Now that you mention it, I am suprized I never saw it before."

"Do you know much about trolls?"

She shook her head.

"Neither do I," His eyes narrowed, "except that I was sired by one." He spat.

"That sounds rather spiteful."

"Hard not to be." He started running his fingers along the window sill destractedly. "My mother was a human. Probably thought I was fucking triplets until I popped out... And popped her in the process."

"Pardon me?"

"She died in delivery, just like you're about to."

A soft scoff escaped her lips. Why did he have to be so spiteful? "What was her name?"

"Leelah." He said simply.

"What happened to you then?"

"I was adopted by her employer, a nobleman named Rasarian."

"Well, that does not sound so bad."

"Hrmph... He was the owner of the arena mansion in Treno. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes, the house where the owner pays you to fight a monster."

"Yep. He used me as that monster for several years."

"Oh, my!" She said, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. He was just full of unexpected answers today.

"He trained me like an animal. And that's all I was to him. Somehow he seemed to think torture was the best way to keep me in top fighting condition. His favorite thing to do was shock me with lightening spells so hard my heart wouls top for a few seconds. He even ripped my tusks right out of my head while I was fully conscious because I tried to chew through my chain."

"Oh, dear." She looked like she was about to be sick.

"Hey, you asked."

"I know, I am sorry." She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "It is probably just morning sickness."

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Yes, I do, I am sorry."

He huffed and looked away.

"So how did you escape?"

"I was defeated. By a woman named Alaria."

"I suppose Rasarian was not very pleased by that."

"Actually he was thrilled. Mostly because he talked her into sticking around and training me for a while. But she told me the second she saw my living conditions, she knew she was going to bust me out of there. Chained to a wall in a filthy dungeon is no place for a beast let alone a boy, she said. Not that I understood it at the time. Rasarian had been very careful that I never learn how to speak, you know why?" He smiled a grim, mirthless smile, "Just so that I would never be able to beg for mercy."

"That's terrible!" She suddenly wanted to jump up and hug him but in her condition jumping was not something she should be doing. "How old were you then? Were you still a kid?"

"I don't know. I had barely seen the light of day until then, I have not idea how old I was. Although the ladies at the monestary had guessed I was around fourteen."

"Monestary?"

"Yeah, Alaria was a monk. Shd when she busted me out she took me home with her. She took me over the mountains to a monestary hidden out in the woods. It was secluded, nothing around for miles and miles. All the ladies told me it was the perfect place to focus your mind and concentrate on your art."

"So there were a lot of people there?" Freya asked, happy he was moving into a brighter part of his life.

"There were seven women living there, including Alaria. They called themselves the Order of the Salamander."

"I take it they gave you those brands on your arms?"

"Damn right, first man inducted into the order." He started some kind of fighting kata but stopped after only a moment, realizing the room was far to small. "Alaria even gave me the name Amarant after the order itself."

"So you and Alaria were pretty close then?"

"Everything in my life that was ever worth knowing she taught me."

"Like what?"

"Self sufficientcy. It was her alpha and her omega. You are your own strongest tool, your own best friend and your only certainty."

"Powerful words."

"Well, she was a powerful person." He suddenly chuckled to himself. "Although she couldn't cook to save her life. There would be times she would take me with her out on her ten day nature hikes just so I would cook for her."

"Wait, you can cook?"

"Yeah, I cook, I bake, I sew."

"You sew?" she asked.

"Yeah, I made all these clothes for myself." He said montioning to his outfit.

"You sew?" she repeated.

"Why is that so shocking?"

"You just really do not strike me as a sewing kind of guy."

"Hey, you imagine trying to find clothes on a rack that could fit a person of my stature."

"True." She sighed. "So what happened to her? To Alaria?"

He crossed his arms. "I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well, she's dead, if that's your question. I just don't know what happened. I was even the one who found her body, I just have no idea how it got there." He started looking around distractedly, as if not really wanting to continue the story. "It was the day after my induction ceremony. Every day of the six years I was there with her she would walk the same path up the mountain to say a prayer at the shrine she had built up there. The walk took her just over five hours."

"You sound awefully sure about that."

"She would always leave right after breakfast ande return right before lunch. She always told me the prayer was to cleanse her spirit, the walk to cleanse her stomach. Her cooking never sat well in anyone's stomach, especially hers. Well, anyway. She went out on her walk and never came back. People would occasionally stay out in the woods overnight but never without telling someone. So when dusk fell we all became worried and went out looking for her."

"And you found her?"

"Laying at the bottom of a cliff." He inhaled deeply. "Everyone thought she just stumbled on the path and fell."

"But you are not convinced?"

"There was no blood around her body. Or very little of it. A fall from that kind of height could have busted her head open easily. Besides, she was a very agile person, it would have taken one hell of a rock slide or earthquake or something to knock her over. Nobody ever found any evidence of anything even remotely like that."

"You suspected foul play."

"Yeah, but when I told the other monks they brushed me off. Told me 'who would want to kill Alaria?." He paused a moment. "I didn't stay in the monestary much longer after that, it just wasn't the same without her."

"So, where did you go?"

He shrugged. "Meh, here and there. Alaria made me memorize the geography of the whole continent so I never really got lost but didn't really want to go anywhere either. I ended up working at the South Gate for a little while but that job didn't really do anything for me."

"Well, from South Gate you can go almost anywhere."

"I knew I could, but at the same time, I really didn't want to. There was something I needed to do but didn't have the guts for."

"You had to confront Rasarian." She whispered.

"Bingo. So I bought the best set of claws I could afford and set out for Treno. Never made it though, another problem found me first."

She scooted to the front of her seat, eager to hear what it was.

"I was attacked as I left South Gate by this really weird ambush party. They had spears and war paint and bluish green skin."

"You were attacked by trolls?"

"Yep, a tribe of mountain trolls just to the west of South Gate. They started to attack me but stopped. They were speaking this weird language I had never heard before but I still understood them. Apparently they couldn't decide whether I was one of them or not."

"So what did they do?"

"They took me to their city. Well, if you can call it a city. There were maybe three dozen huts gathered around this really old, bizarre-looking temple that was built right into the side of the mountain. But anyway, they brought me there to see their chief or shaman or whatever because they took me to the temple and left me there. Just left me there for at least a couple days. These women kept coming in and leaving me food but none of them said a word to me, wouldn't even look at me until I finally blocked the exit and a yount girl explained they were preparing for some kind of ceremony so the holy man was in seclusion." He swallowed, becoming noticably more uncomfortable. "So I started studying the glyphs on the walls. I couldn't read the language but there were a lot of pictures."

"Of what?" She asked after a short pause.

"Corpses, bones, mutilated bodies. Of humans, dwarves, Burmecians, anyone unlucky enough to be traveling along the roads right before their ceremony." He took a deep breath. "And that's not the worst part. They would take one woman from their captives and dress her up as some sort of fertility goddess. At the end of the ceremony, the last thing they would do, they would... ummm... they would shackle her to an alter and... and they would rape her to death."

"Oh, dear goodness!" She gasped. This was bothering him a lot more than he let show she realized when she noticed he was clenching his fists so hard he was quivering.

"Well, eventually the shaman came out of seclusion and gave me an audience." He paused, his breathing becoming uneven.

She could see how clearly he was upset but she know if she didn't press him, he would never continue. "And?" She asked.

He looked at her. "Have you ever had a moment of clarity? Where the sky clears and you suddenly feel like you understand everything?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That man was my father!" He exploded, "He didn't have to say it, I just knew." He took a deep breath, "I don't know how she did it but my mother was the victim of there ceremony and she managed to escape with her life, only to die less than a year later! I was born into a river of blood because of him!"

Fear creeped up on Freya once she realized Amarant had rached back and slipped his hand into his taiger claws. So she tried as subtly as she could to reach for her spear in case he lost control of himself.

But he quickly regained his composure, his hand falling again to his side. "Never have I felt more righteous than when I buried my claws in his heart."

"So you killed him?"

"Are you suprized?"

"...No, not really."

He turned away, crossing his arms and looking out the window. "I wanted to make sure he would never hurt anyone ever again. That none of them would. So I killed them. I killed all of them."

"All of them?" She asked incredulously.

"All of them. Everyone I could find, men, women. I didin't know any other way to save her."

"Who?"

"Their victim for the night. They already had her drssed up and covered in war paint and ready for the ceremony. She thought I was one of them until I started speaking common. They had her so drugged up she couldn't move, she was fully conscious but she couldn't move. I can't even imagine what it must feel like, knowing what's coming and not being able to fight back... I couldn't not save her."

"Who was she?"

He turned to her, the most pleasant smile she'd ever seen spread across his face. "Serra." He let out a light laugh, as if buried in a pleasant memory. "She was a courier for a nobel family in Lindblum on her way to Treno. A lot of bad things happen to me in or near Treno, she said it was probably fate. Which is why we went to Dueguerro, started working there."

"Oh, you worked together?"

"Yeah, we were partners. We completed eachother so well. Anything I couldn't do, she could and anything she couldn't do, I could. Back then, we were treasure hunters, not that there was a whole lot of money in that, what with all the other treasure hunters that were around back then. But when we started going into other arews of expertise, we got a couple good clients that are faithful to me even to this day."

"Other areas of expertise?"

"When we transitioned into arms for hire. I mean, she was a master assassin and self-proclaimed ninja. Although I think she called herself that just because she liked saying it."

Freya smiled. "So she was a ninja and assassin, what were you?"

"She called me the Intimidater... Just Dater for a while."

She laughed. "She sounds like fun, I wish I could have met her."

"You would have gotten along. She was pretty much like Zidane in a dress... And she wore this dress that-" As he spoke he brought his hands up like he was holding tow large watermelons but caught himself and suddenly looked embarrassed. "I mean, uhh... she wore dresses that, ummm... Weren't always the longest."

Freya laughed as a light blush spread across Amarant's face.

"But anyways! She clung to the same niave ideal that anything can be solved with teamwork. I thought just she and I were enough but she was adamant that we neeeded at least one or two more team members. That was the main reason we relocated from Dueguerro to Lindblum."

"Not to mention, I am sure there was a lot more work."

"That too. Despite the endless stream of partners that just never worked out, we kept partnering up with guys who only joined to try to get under Serra's dress. Ande I wasn't going to allow that to happen."

"You had already staked your claim?" She smiled, leaning her head on her hand on the table.

He glared at her. "When we went out on jobs, it was all about work. None of these guys ever understood that. She kept telling me that if I hated her selections so much, then I should go pick a partner. Although she always got pissed when I'd show up for a job by myself. She just couldn't grasp that sometimes I knew what I was doing."

"Or maybe that she was the partner you had picked."

"Exactly."

"So she was your partner in more than one way." Freya exclaimed as if she had just tricked him into giving away his greatest secret.

Amarant sighed sadly. "I was going to ask her to marry me."

"What stopped you?"

"Remember that half-orc I mentioned? His name was Wrench. And he wasn't too happy when he found out we hadn't been paying him fully. This was after we had fully moved to Treno."

"You worked form Treno? I thought you said it was bad luck or what-have-you."

"It was. But that is where the money is. There was just no two ways about it. And Serra had been pushing to get some money saved up fast."

"What for?"

"Well, she had always talked about getting a house or an apartment somewhere nice like Alexandria or something and finally retire from being a mercinary. For me, it was something I was planning on doing my whole life, but it wasn't her passion. And I think she was ready to be done."

"There is nothing wrong with that."

He looked away. "Besides, I'm pretty damn sure she was pregnant."

"Oh, dear. What makes you say that?"

"When we first moved there, we had gotten a mission that was actually a permanent position as a security guard for the Treno Auction House. She had thrown it away saying 'We don't do permanent positions'. But a few days later, I found that same mission on the top of the pile again, she told me it might be worth checking into. And I saw that she had been making a list of apartments we could afford down by the lake, all the ones she was interested in were at least two bedrooms. She never actually said the words, but she told me in her own Serra-like way."

"So what happened?"

"Goddamn Wrench!" He thundered, obviously upset. "That bastard sold us out! He had been our last partner when I took the security job and we said we were done. But he convinced us to do one my job, convinced us it would be easy, told us the pay would be worth it. God damn it!" He pounded his fist against the wall behind him, nearly cracking the stone. "Even I trusted him, the little rat! It was supposed to be a quick larceny job in some Noble's house. I should have seen it coming!"

"What? What did he do?"

"Apparently he'd been hired by Rasarian to bring us to him."

"And you went."

He let out a stream of curses that would normally have embarrassed her but she could be upset at him, not now. She sighed.

"So what happened?"

"I felt like I was a kid again. A kid chained to the wall of his dungeon. I meanh, I stood head and shoulders over him but the second he called me Boy, I... froze. He grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me to my knees and... I-... I couldn't stop him."

"I am not surprized, he tortured you as a child."

"I couldn't even say anything as he whispered that he was the one who killed Alaria. I should have-... I should have run away or... attacked him or something. Instead of just sitting there as Wrench-..." It was painfully clear he wanted to cry but he was too prideful. He took a deep, calming breath, not that it helped him very much. "As Wrench slit Serra's throat."

"Oh, dear!"

He shook his head. "Ear to fucking ear. She was dead before she hit the ground." He wrapped his arms around his chest, not his normal cocky stance, this was a gesture of self comfort. "That wasn't even the worst part. He picked up her pouch of shurikens and walked over to Rasarian. They... laughed. Said I didn't deserve a family or some kind of happy ending. Then he took one of her surikens and threw it at her, hit her right in the stomach." Tears finally oozed from the corners of his eyes. "Talk about adding insult to injury."

"Oh, Amarant." She sighed, finally getting to her feet and wrapping her arms around him.

"I don't need your pity." He said, halfheartedly trying to disengage himself from her arms.

"You may not need my puty, but you do need my comfort." She gently took his hand. "I am not suprized you got jaded, losing so many who where close you, but I am suprized you held it all in and suffered alone. I know it may sound cliché, Amarant, but you do not need to any more. I am here to give you what I can offer."

"But for how long? When the bunny hops out, I won't even have you anymore."

"I may die but I won't be leaving you alone."

He started slightly. "Can-... Can I-..." He stammered awkwardly.

"Would you like to see it?" She completed his sentence. When he nodded vigorously she gently touched his face and disengaged herself from him. With a practiced, fluid motion she removed her tabard and folded it, placing it on the table. Figuring this would be the last time she would be taking her armor off today, she decided to take it off properly, stacking the pieces in organized piles by the door. "I suppose there is little point in my wearing this any more, the cat is out of the bag." She mused to herself.

"So its really real, isn't it?" He mumbled.

"Did you doubt my words?" She asked, placing her last plate on the floor and turning towards him. As he began speaking, she noticed he began slowly sinking to the floor.

"Maybe if I didn't see it, I wouldn't have to believe it. But it's real, isn't it? The timer is counting down. You know, its one thing when someone dies unexpectedly, I mean, that's tragic. But when you know someone is going to die, and you can stop it, but you don't... that... heart breaking." He finally fell to his knees, his hands out on the floor in front of him. "I would do anything to save you. Anything. I would kill Alaria myself... I would watch Serra die a thousand times." He lowered his head, touching his fore head to the ground. "I just can't lose you."

Freya nearly choked on a sob, seeing Amarant, the most prideful, arrogant man she had ever met, prostrating himself before her was the most painful thing she had ever seen. "Oh, Amarant." She sighed.

"I could-... I could change. I could leave. You would never have to see me again."

"Amarant, if I knew I was never going to see you again, my life would already be over."

He looked up at her, shuffling over and gently touching her foot. "Then how do you think I feel? There's nothing much more seperating than death."

"Oh, Amarant." She tried to kneel down but failed. The baby was taking a surprizing amount of her flexibility away. And she suddenly found herself wondering how she managed to force it this long.

"You deserve so much better than this. You deserve to die on the battlefield, not a hospital bed."

"Is that what you think?" She turned abruptly, snatching her spear and tabard, knocking over her neat piles of armor plates. Without another word, she threw them both out the window. Amarant followed her motions but said nothing. They locked eyes for a moment before she continued. "It is not difficult for me to walk away from that life." She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I suppose while we are letting the skeletons out of our closets, I have a secret I should share as well." She straitened her shirt, letting out a trembling sigh. "I actually have children already."

His face distorted slightly in confusion.

"It was soon after I joined the church, a few years before I became a Dragon Knight."

"I didn't know you were in the church." He muttered, rising to his knees then falling back to sitting cross legged against the wall.

"It is hard to imagine me as a nun, right? But you must have some holy experience to become a Dragon Knight. Where do you think I learned to dance? Or where I learned to cast holy magic?"

He didn't say anything, he had never thought about it.

"I suppose you could say I had a bit of a wild streak. I wanted to see how far I oculd make the pious fall. It did not work out well in my favor. The father was a high ranking priest, an Arch Bishop actually. And he clearly did not leap to my aid, he told me he had bigger worries than the petty complaints of a no name nun." She let out a mirthless laugh. "It just seems so juvanile, looking back; how mad I was at him... At me...I guess having children is like instant adulthood. It is amazing looking back how much I grew up the moment I laid eyes on my three sons. My perfect little boys. Deitrick... Maxikin... and Pokross." She paused between each one as if letting the names roll off her tongue was like touching them again. "I gave them up as wards of the military. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. But everyone told me it was what was vest for them, and that I needed to get back to the church and carry on my duties... They excommunicated me! The father made sure of it. He told everyone that the truly pious would not give into their eartly desires to the level of having a child so there was no reason to allow me to return!" She sighed in defeat. "I thought he cared for me."

Amarant extended his arms toward her, worldessly drawing her to him. She slowly, carefully sat down on his lap as he wrapped his warm arms around her. What could he say to her? He had been so obsessed with hiding himself from her it had never crossed his mind she might be hiding herself from him.

She gently ran her fingers across his chest. "I don't expect you to understand," She said locking eyes with him, "But please do not take this from me."

"My aim was never to take anything from you."

She sighed as if wanting to say something but just not having the heart.

"In fact I have something for you." He said, removing his neckless and slipping it over her head.

Freya rested her head on Amarant's broad chest, studying the tiny bone charm. She had never noticed it had tiny runes carved into it. "I've seen you wearing this ever since I met you, are you sure it's OK for me to have it?"

"Meh, I've only had it most of my life, what do I need it for?"

"What is it anyway?"

"When I smashed my father's head against the wall, one of his tusks snapped off. And I kept it."

"That's... grizzly."

"When Serra found out about it, she stole it and made it into that."

"Should I be concerned that it came from a former girlfriend?" She joked.

He shifted uncomfortably. "You saying you don't want it?"

"Not at all. In fact I am more than honored to wear it." She kissed his cheek. "If I gave you something, would you wear it?"

"Like a fucking badge of honor."

"Huh, I would have settled for I won't throw it away." She said as she removed the leather bad from around his left bicep and swiftly replaced it with a yellow ribbon. He seemed confused for a minute until she flashed her tail which was now bare. "Strait from Fratley to you."

He touched the tendrils of the ribbon. "Yellow isn't really my color."

She shrugged. "Well, I'm not taking it back. Besides, this thing is much nicer." She motioned to her new neckless. "I'll just have to find something to coordinate with it. Do you by chance know where I can get some decent maternity clothes?"

He stood up, taking her up in his arms. She giggled at the sudden motion. But he ignored her gleeful moment and set her on her feet. His eyes slowly wandered up and down her body. Then he used his hands to measure the approximate width of her shoulders, bust, waist and hips. "Don't wait up for me." Was all he said before he hastily wandered off.


	9. Chapter 9

Eiko slowly wandered the halls of the Alexandria palace. Everything had been rebuilt since it was destroyed two years ago. And it all looked the same but with such an air of newness. They must have used a lot of the blocks from the old one to make the new one. Was it only nostalgia that made them build the new one with the exact same blue prints as the old one? Perhaps it was for tradition. Well, whatever the reason, one thing hadn't changed: that freaky portrait of Queen Brahne was still there and still scaring small children. She quivered every time she looked at it.

"Of all the things to put back up." She mused, shaking her head.

"I guess Dagger holds her mother in very high respect, even after all these years" Her companion said.

She looked down at the pointy hat clad boy and pursed her lips. He hadn't aged a day since they adventured together. Well, that is to say he hadn't grown up. He had perfected the technology to transfer his memories and personality into a new black mage body every time his old one wore out. But it was very clear his mind was aging even if he continued to use the body of a child. "Maybe so," She said, "But you cannot tell me that doesn't freak you out."

He shrugged. "Who am I to question Dagger's interior design tastes?"

She whipped around, about to lose it on him when she was distracted by the soft tapping of armored boots on the stone floor. Beatrix coolly breezed past the two youngsters without even a glance and continued up the stairs. "Oooooh!" Eiko huffed. "The nerve of that woman. I don't think she said one word to me the whole trip here!"

"She must have a lot on her mind." Vivi said, trying to diffuse Eiko's temper before it reached the boiling point. "I mean, her queen did just have a baby."

"Meh," she waved her hand dismissively, "She picks us up, doesn't say a word, and now tries to act all cool. New baby or not, that doesn't account for rudeness."

"I think you need to calm yourself, Eiko." A strong voice above them said.

Eiko looked up to see Freya leaning on the banister above her. She grinned and dashed up the stairs toward her Burmecian comrade. But as she rounded the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth agape. She wore a floor length gown Eiko had never seen before. The long sleeved tunic was made of buffed leather with the insignia of the Royal Burmecian Army on it that very artfully accented her baby belly. Tiny embroidered patterns adorned the hem of the shimmering silk skirt that just barely dusted the ground. Only her silver bangs showed from under the strange layers of fabric that draped her head. The headdress reminded Eiko of a nun's habit except in Freya's trademark faded red color. "F-F-Freya!" Eiko stammered as Freya laughed at the youngster's loss of words. "You look amazing!" She finally found her voice, running up to her to better inspect her new garb. "This dress would put any woman in the Royal court to shame! Is this your tabbard? Hey, this is a custom job, isn't it?"

"You're as energetic as ever." Freya mumbled.

Eiko wasn't distracted and continued. "Who made it for you? You have to give me their number!"

Freya rubbed Eiko's head. "I have to say, I am impressed; you are the first person to notice my dress instead of my tummy."

"Oh, I noticed, it's just been a while since I've seen you, anything can happen in a couple years." She continued tittering as Vivi came sauntering up the stairs. "Besides, you are married, having babies is kind of what married couples do. And I am glad to see Fratley finally get off his rear end and-"

"Oh, no no," Freya stopped her, "Fratley and I are not together any more."

"I'm sorry, I hadn't heard."

"Do not worry, not many have." She adjusted the bottom of her tabbard. It had been fitted around her midsection to adjust for her new lack of armor. But in making sure it fit to her bust and upper waist, a hardened leather plate had been added to the inside. It certainly made her look more glamorous but it was going to take forever to get used to. "Then again, it is probably for the best this child is not Fratley's. The average mischief of full blooded Burmecians is three to five pups and I do not think I could handle raising more than one."

"Wait, that's only one? Wow! It must be a half-giant or something."

"Quarter troll actually."

"Wait, what?" Eiko and Vivi said in stereo.

As if on cue, Amarant stepped up the stairs behind the kids, a milk pint carton in one hand and Freya's helm in the other. "This is all the milk there is in the castle." He commented, "Is it just me or-" His voice fell as he noticed the two kids staring up at him with wide eyes. His whole posture dropped as he moaned unhappily. "I am out of here."

Freya grabbed his arm, pulling him back as he tried to walk away. "Oh, no you're not." She said, retaining a firm grip on his bicep as she pulled him up next to her.

Eiko glared up at Amarant. "So this is your work then?" She demanded, motioning to Freya.

"Yeah," He sighed, "Took me forever too, I'm not used to working with leather." He ran his fingers along one of the seems of Freya's tabbard. "Couldn't find the color I really wanted for the skirt either, ended up needing to dye it myself."

"Wait, you mean you made this?" She slowly looked Freya up and down. "Kudos, man." Freya laughed while Amarant sighed. "I have to say though, I'm not entirely sold on the hat. I mean-"

Freya stopped her there by violently pulling the offending article off her head and throwing at Amarant. "I told you people would get it!" She said, snatching her helmet as he fumbled to keep grips on everything in his hands. "Honestly, a pregnant nun."

Eiko cocked her head to the side as Freya adjusted her regal Burmecian helm. "What I was going to say was that the fabric of the hat seemed a little disjointed from the leather from your shirt-"

She was once again cut off, this time by Amarant. He simply reached up and flicked the helmet right off Freya's silver head. Before she could protest, he gracefully slipped the habit back over her head. "This one suits you much better." He said, letting his hand trace her cheek as it fell to his side.

Eiko couldn't help but squeal a little, a giant grin spread across her face. This was the most affection she had seen either of these two display in all the time she'd know them. And the fact it was to each other just made her overflow with joy.

But before either of them even had the chance to roll their eyes, another figured entered the hallway. "Oh, good, you're here." A sweet voice said. "I always worry when one of my friends is in transit."

"Dagger!" Eiko squealed, dashing over and throwing her arms around her fellow summoner, nearly knocking her to the ground. "So where is she? Where is the baby? Is she cute? Does she have a horn? I'm so tired of being the only one!"

"Slow down!" Dagger said, gently disengaging the youngster from her waist. "It's not a she, we had a son."

"That's OK, boys can be summoners too. So when do I get to see him?"

"Right now if you'd like."

"Yes yes yes!" She cheered , jumping up and down.

Dagger simply laughed before taking both childrens' hands and taking off for her chambers. Eiko's prattling continued until there were well out of sight.

Freya turned to Amarant, her belly skimming his arm. "Do you want to go?"

"Not really." Amarant answered simply.

"Oh, come on. Have you even seen Ruka yet?"

"No, but I really don't want to."

Freya shrugged. "Fair enough. I cannot make you. Besides, I really should be getting back to-"

"Guys!" A voice from the stairs rang out. They both sighed. Without even looking, they knew this wouldn't be good news. "Good to see you two have not left yet!" Steiner continued, clanking noisily up behind them. "Freya, you look lovely! Are you not going to come see the new Prince?"

Freya forced her self up strait, her hands massaging her sore lower back. "Sure, I'm just massively pregnant, what do I need rest for?"

"Great to her it, come on!" And he dashed after the queen.

Freya shook her head and looked up at Amarant. "I'm not going to say it..."

* * *

::Disgusted sigh:: Gyuuah... I am really not happy with this chapter at all, (Way to sell it, huh?) but I really wanted there to be a step between decision to keep baby and suddenly BABY so here it is. I also apologize for the long wait, everything about my writing felt so forced. Well, I'm going to be on vacation for a couple days so hopefully I can keep the ball rolling. Until next time...


	10. Chapter 10

It had been a month and no one had seen neither hide nor tail of Freya. She had formally requested residence in Alexandria when she declared her pregnancy, and of course Garnet had set her in the most comfortable chambers in the castle, but then she disappeared. Everyone knew, even without being told, that she had gone onto bed rest. But now it just felt like there was ghost living in the palace. And Amarant wordlessly wandering around the city certainly didn't help.

To an outside observer, he would have seemed exactly the same; just as silent and brooding as ever. But, to an experienced Amarant watcher, things had changed. He walked around like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Amarant was very good at many things, but carrying guilt was not one of them.

Unfortunately the field of friends who were willing or able to help was rather limited. The new baby prince got the whole palace into an uproar. And because they ended up deciding it was best to remove both his horn and his tail, Eiko refused to leave his side. She kept spouting that she was tired of being alone so she treated that boy like he was her own child. Garnet never complained, she was like a free nanny service. But she took her responsibility as new mother very seriously allowing many of her courtly duties to fall to the trio of Zidane, Beatrix and Steiner. Leaving only Quina with the drive to enter Freya's quarters.

But then again, Freya had told Quina she could cook for her child. And if there was one thing Quina took seriously, it was her duties as a Gourmand.

Which was why it was so odd when Dagger found a fully loaded tray of finely cooked Burmecian cuisine (complete with a side of frogs legs) dashed in the hallway in front of Freya's room. So she adjusted the infant in her arms and knocked on the door. Under her knuckles, the door opened a couple inches and from inside came a poorly stifled grunt of pain. "Is everything OK in here?" she asked, finally opening the door.

The scene that greeted her made her gasp and tightly clutch her son's head to her chest. Freya stood at the end of her bed, one hand supporting herself on the bed post, the other gripping the front of her titanically swollen belly. The entire front of her white maternity skirt was soaked in blood and as Garnet took a moment to stare, more of the life-sustaining fluid seemed to be pouring out. "Go find Amarant..." She whispered.

Words weren't necessary. Amarant had never seen Quina looking panicked but the moment she came bursting into the construction site where he was working with those wide Qu eyes, he knew what was going on before she even had the chance to open her mouth. So he dropped his hammer and took ff running. Under other circumstances, he probably would have been impressed that even with all the speed and endurance training he had put himself through, even with his large stature and great strides, his overweight companion had managed to keep pace. But he couldn't think of anything but Freya, how ever fiber of his body was telling him that he physically needed to be near her.

That physical need was what made the normally tranquil ferry ride from the city to the palace intolerably slow. On numerous occasions he found himself wanting to throw himself off the boat to try to swim to the palace but being wet in addition to tired and still slower than he wanted to be was really not worth it. He realized this especially when Quina, gentle oblivious Quina, took his hand. He looked down to see the most steely expression he had ever seen across her Qu face. "Don't worry," She said, "Freya strongest lady I know."

Amarant nodded and gave her hand a squeeze.

Everyone was waiting in the hallway outside Freya's chamber as they approached. There was an air of graveness, like everybody knew that this would not end well. Zidane stood leaning against the wall, gently bouncing his infant son. Steiner and Beatrix carefully leaned on each other, trying their hardest to maintain their regal demeanor but still gain as much comfort as they could out of one another. Eiko was the only one whose outlook seemed cheery. She tittered excitedly about Burmecian babies to Vivi who paced nervously. All heads swiveled up as the father of the problem approached, as if looking to him for guidance. Amarant did the best he could to puff up his chest, hide his nervousness and strode confidently up to the door.

But before his hand even made contact with the handle, the door burst open, Garnet stepping out to block his path. "Thank goodness you're here, Amarant," She said, placing her hand on his arms both as a motion of comfort and to bar him from entry. "He's trying everything he can but she's getting weaker by the minute-"

Without really pushing her aside, he put his hand on her arm and she sighed sadly, letting him pass.

Once Amarant stepped into his room, his heart nearly stopped. Freya laid pathetically on the bed with a white robed medic sitting between her raised legs. His breath caught in his chest as he took in her sweaty, emaciated form. But she smiled nonetheless and reached out her hand to him. He wordlessly dashed over and knelt on the floor next to her so she could nuzzle her rodent face in his thick hair.

"I take it you are responsible for this woman?" The medic asked.

Amarant nodded.

The healer put his hand on Freya's lower abdomen and quietly chanted "Regen", releasing a green glowing spell from his hand. "That should hold you for a couple minutes, My Lady." He said, flicking back his red triangle-accented hood. "May I have a word with you, sir?" He addressed Amarant as he stood up. Amarant gently caressed Freya's gaunt face and also stood up, joining th doctor by the door. "Your lady wife certainly is something else." Doc said, taking off his bloody gloves. "She has lost more blood than I have ever seen. The baby is fine but if she doesn't deliver soon, she's going to need something a bit more powerful than a can-do spirit."

"Tell me what I can do to help." Amarant said, a surprising authoritative note to his voice.

"I don't think there's anything you can do to help," He sighed, "Unless you can literally give her more blood or bolster her life force or something."

He quietly growled at himself, why did he have to pick now to be so useless. Would it have killed him to take some medical training? Why couldn't he have been a healer instead of a monk? Suddenly realization dawned on him and he looked back at his bed bound wife. Quickly he dashed to her side. Without a word he flicked all the cushions she was leaning against aside and hastily took their place, trying his hardest not to jar Freya. He put one leg on either side of her and pulled her body back against his. With one hand over her heart and the other over her tummy, he began pumping her full of his Chakra.

As his life force began flowing through her, she sighed, her head falling back against his shoulder. "You feel so good." She mused quietly.

"Too bad," Amarant said, "If you hadn't said that thirty weeks ago, we wouldn't be in this mess."

She laughed weakly. "What a time to try to be funny."

He didn't stop his Chakra flow but hugged her tighter. "I'm not doing it for you."

"Too bad," She said, stroking his wrists, "Because I'm doing this for you."

He lowered his head, resting his forehead against her neck. "I never asked for this."

"I know. But what better way to physically show your love for someone?"

"You could just say it."

"Actions speak louder than words. Besides, I knew you would never say it back- Gyuahhh!" She cut herself off with a painful howl.

"OK, this is a big one, my lady, try to ride it out!" The healer said, putting a fresh towel against Freya's body. "Sir, try taking to her, encourage her."

"Stay with me, Freya!" He commanded. But with each word that tumbled out of his mouth, his voice got weaker and weaker. "You know better than anyone I can't do this alone. I'll be a terrible father, just look at the stock I came from." She yowled and dug her fingernails into his knees. But he was beyond pain as he brought his mouth up to her ear and continued talking. "Do you remember when we went to the Fire Temple together? I asked Zidane not to send me with you. It wasn't because I doubted your skills or thought we couldn't work together; I just didn't want to fall for someone I knew I couldn't have. From the first second I laid eyes on you I knew we were two halves of the same whole. Even once I had you I didn't want to love you because I didn't want to hurt you." Tears suddenly sprang to his eyes but he fought them back as hard as he could. "But I fell for you anyway, Freya. I physically cannot not love you, you are just too much for me."

She finally let loose; a pain filled, blood freezing scream escaping her lungs. As she did, her body twisted, her pelvis pushing forward. And from all her pain, all her suffering, a tiny, shrill voice cried out. The baby, the result of her labor of love, finally announced itself to the world.

"Great job, My Lady!" The doctor said. "You have successfully delivered!" He hummed a short, triumphant tune. "And it's a girl!"

"Do you hear that, Freya? It's a girl. We have a daughter." Amarant whispered to Freya.

"We have a daughter." Freya weakly repeated, her voice as thin as the heartbeat under Amarant's hand. "What's her name?"

He seemed taken aback by the question. "We never discussed any names."

"What's her name?" She demanded, her voice barely audible.

Tears finally began oozing from his eyes. They never talked about it because she knew she would never meet her child. This was his decision so she was leaving it completely up to him. "Her name... Rasaleelah... Rasaleelah Crescent." He said.

"Rasaleelah... That's a... beautiful..." She trailed off, her body going limp in his arms.

"That is a lovely name, Good Sir." The medic said after wrapping the baby in a soft blanket and returning to the bed. "Shall I go make record of it-" He stopped. Amarant sat rocking the unmoving body of his wife, great sobs shaking his mountainous form. The smile drained from the doctor's face and he slowly turned to the door. Once he was out in the hallway, he could only take a hand full of steps before Eiko blocked his path.

"Awwww, baby!" She sighed, even though she wasn't tall enough to see the baby in the man's arms. "I sure hope you took good care of Freya cause-" She finally looked up into his grave face and stopped. He didn't say anything, only shook his head solemnly. "No." She said, turning to the door. "No no no no no!" She continued repeating as she dashed into the chamber.

Steiner was the first one to react. "Eiko, no!" He said as he took off after her. But he only took about two steps before suddenly the wind was knocked out of him as if someone socked him right in the gut. He stumbled forward into the wall, clutching his chest as if he had been dealt a physical blow.

Garnet however took off after the youngster. She had collapsed right inside the door, clearly struck by the scene that greeted her. Amarant sat, still pumping his Chakra into Freya's limp body. A choke caught in Garnet's throat as she heard him sobbing into Freya's neck. But she placed a hand on Eiko's shoulder, trying to lead her away.

But Eiko swatted at her hand. "No!" She shouted. "This isn't it. Life!" A powerful healing spell left her hand and came to rest on Freya to no effect. "This can't be the end! Curaga!" Another healing spell, then another and another escaped the child mage but to no avail.

Garnet wrapped her arms around her quivering shoulders, drawing her up into her chest where they both accepted each other's meager comfort.

Vivi didn't enter the room, he already knew what was going on. He had experienced enough death when living with the black mages, he didn't need to see it again. Slowly he reached out his hand for some kind of support to keep him from collapsing. But instead of finding the wall, his hand caught onto something warm and fluffy. Quina grabbed his arm and pulled him forward against her robe. As she quietly began chanting in her native tongue, Vivi was absorbed by the vibrations of her lungs and the smell of the desert she had been cooking this morning that permeated her robes. This is what comfort felt like, he thought as he let his grief flow from his eyes and lungs.

The shrill cry of the baby as the doctor slowly took it to the healer's wing was the only announcement made to the palace.


	11. Chapter 11

"Well, this has been the week from hell." A masculine voice at the door said. Amarant slowly turned his head, wishing if he just ignored it, the world would just leave him alone. But unfortunately, it was just Steiner coming to darken his already bleak door. So he returned his eyes to the ceiling, resting his wrist on his forehead with a sigh.

"What do you want?"

"Maybe a human reaction out of you?" Steiner said, closing the door to formerly Freya's quarters behind him as he entered.

"What? Are you saying my-..." He swallowed hard. "Troll reaction isn't good enough?" It was funny how once he had confronted that horrible part of his identity he was using it so casually. There was no pride in being sired by a troll, even if Freya made no secret out of it.

"You punched Sir Fratley in the face!" When Amarant didn't respond, Steiner growled quietly. "As a knight I feel I should say that your behavior was brutal, thuggish and completely unnecessary!" He paused for a moment, regaining his composure. "But as your friend, I think you're right. He had no business being here." He sighed and looked away. "I cannot even imagine how I would feel if one of Lady Beatrix's former lovers showed up for her funeral. Nor indeed what needing to attend her funeral myself would feel like." He shifted slightly. "You were wise to not involve yourself in the funeral arrangements. It is so hard to have to say good bye, let alone having to give someone you love an appropriate send off."

Amarant didn't say anything, only rolled onto his side so he didn't have to look at the knight.

"Amarant, I know this is not easy, least of all for you, but we have all lost a friend here. Her and Beatrix were particularly close and I-..." He stopped with a painful sigh. "May I share something with you?" When Amarant didn't respond, he decided to continue. "When we all marched on the God of Death, I gave my very life so that you could succeed. It was Freya who took my soul as her strength. When she came back, she brought me back to life but ever since then, I have carried a little bit of her within me... And when she died..."

"It felt like a piece of your soul was being ripped out?" Amarant muttered.

"How did you know?"

"The same thing happened to me when Vivi died... It was his innocence but bizarre grasp on mortality that really pushed me through that battle... Struck me like an ax to the back when he died."

"But Vivi is not dead."

"That kid may look like Vivi, and may have his memories and whatever, but that isn't the boy that traveled with us. And no matter how hard he tries, he never will be."

"So that's why you have never liked this new Vivi."

He slowly pulled his knees up to his chest. "Can I help you with something?"

"No. In fact, I was wondering if there is something more I could do to help you." He took a step closer. "You have done a good job of shutting us all out so far, but you did come back and that does mean something." He sighed heavily. "No one was surprised when you took off, you needed some time to grieve by yourself. Although you were gone for longer than we liked. Where did you go anyway?"

"... Treno... I didn't even want to come back. I just... had something of Freya's..."

"Yes, I saw you pitch your necklace onto her pyre. Beatrix told me what it meant to her... and to you. It may not have been a brand new set of Dragoon armor or a whole Burmecian feast but it was the most meaningful thing offered today. Your primitive brawling aside, I think she would have been proud."

"Whatever." Amarant said, suddenly throwing himself onto his back. Following through with the motion, he brought himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Once there, he realized Steiner wasn't alone; in his arms he carried a tiny, wiggly bundle of pink fabric. Upon seeing it, he wrinkled his nose distastefully and stood up.

"Where do you think you are going?" Steiner asked.

"Somewhere far away from here." Amarant answered simply and tried to step around the knight.

But Steiner blocked his path. "You know very well that there is one rather large loose end to tie up." He looked down at the baby in his arms with a smile. "Beatrix and I have been taking care of her since you left. She is an absolute joy, you should be proud."

"I don't care, just get rid of it." He said as he started walking toward the door.

"How can you say such a thing? She is your daughter!"

He froze, one hand on the door knob. "She killed my wife."

"You look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want her."

Amarant turned, rage burning in his eyes and got right into Steiner's face. "I. Do. Not. Want. Her!" He enunciated. Steiner didn't break eye contact but gently pressed the baby into her father's chest. Instinctively he brought up his arms, taking the tiny burden. He sighed angrily before finally looking down at his daughter. The moment he looked at her, his breath caught in his chest. She had the face of a Burmecian with tiny tusks poking out of the corners of her mouth. Her eyes, though unfocused, were smoky gray, mirroring his own except with tiny flecks of emerald around her pupils. The chubby hands she reached up toward him each had five clawless fingers connected to wide, already muscular arms. Right above her right eye was an up swept cowlick in her silver red hair, just dark enough not to be called pink. She was such a strange amalgam of his and Freya's features but he somehow just couldn't stop tears from stinging the corners of his eyes.

"She's a charmer." Steiner said, reaching out to place a hand on his comrade's shoulder. But before he could even make contact, Amarant recoiled away, clutching the child to his chest like the knight was about to pluck her from his arms. They stood for a moment exchanging surprised and wary gazes before Steiner continued. "Beatrix and I have talked it over and have agreed that we could adopt her if you are unwilling or unable to take her but I think what is best for her is to be with her father."

Amarant slowly raised her up to rest on his chest, planting a soft kiss right between her stubby rodent ears. "I think I can tolerate to take her. For a little while anyway."

"I am glad to hear it. I would hate for Freya's death to be in vain." Steiner said, taking the blankie off his shoulder.

Amarant wordlessly reached out and took it, throwing it over his own shoulder. There were no words of thanks he could to say to this man that could possibly cover what he was feeling as he gently caressed the furry face of his offspring. Without another word, he turned and walked away. Stopping for no one as he left the castle, saying nothing as he exited the city. Only once he was outside the town did he finally stop, allowing his emotions to well over.

Freya, beautiful, merciful, generous Freya, the light of his life, had died so this miniature person could live. She carried this child, all the while knowing it would end her, knowing there was no future where the two could survive. There was no logic, no reason or rhyme that could explain such behavior. Or so he thought. So he thought until he saw her, Freya's perfect creation... No, their perfect creation. A joint effort between the half-troll Monk and the Burmecian Dragoon who marched on Necron, the God of Death. This was a gift Freya had intended for him. He had thought this foolish endeavor had been her giving up her future but in fact it had been her handing her future over to him. Her future in the shape of this wiggly bundle of slightly misshapen limbs and mismatched features.

Finally his legs gave out on him and he fell to his knees, wild grasses blowing all around him in the gentle Alexandrian wind. He put the blankie down on the ground in front of him, ever so tenderly placing his child on it. For a moment he sat watching her through blurry, tear soaked eyes as she disinterestedly bat at the bending grasses. "This is my daughter..." He whispered, taking her hand. As he placed his oversized finger in her palm, she wrapped her chubby fingers around it and squeezed with surprising strength. Tears ran unblocked down his cheeks. "Rasaleelah..." He said, feeling the name he had desperately given her in the heat of the moment roll across his tongue. But as he repeated it again, he decided it was perfect. He sat back, not taking his hand out of her grip, and raised his head to the heavens. "I don't know if it was your intention or not," He said as if Freya were sitting between the clouds, "But you have set me on the road of ruin. Trusting me with a child? What were you thinking?" He roughly rubbed the back of his free hand across his cheeks to clear away the tears. "For what it's worth... I... Appreciate it. I have faced so much loss in my life, what a wonderful way for it to finally lead to creation..." A handful of sobs escaped his mouth but were drown out by the laughs they were mixed with. But he sniffed hard and calmed his racing heart, a sad smile playing his lips.

He reached down and gathered his daughter in his arms, finally rising again to his feet. His eyes still unfocused through the tears, he looked down at his baby, realizing his whole life rested with her. "I'll try not to waste it..."

* * *

And there you have it! More than a year in the works and finally all that needs to be said has been said! I know a lot of you out there are rather disappointed that, yes, I killed Freya but I believe that Amarant wouldn't have the same sort of revelatory moment without it. He is the one I really wanted to change as a person here and I don't think that sort of change would have come about without, firstly admitting that he loved Freya, and secondly losing her, especially if he felt responsible.

Well, anyway. I may or may not write an epilogue, haven't decided. Maybe if I get enough requests I'll do one... Or maybe I will anyway because it's already half written... Heh heh heh! Happy reading!


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